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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24808900">The Hatred in his Eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollolovebot/pseuds/apollolovebot'>apollolovebot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Diamond Authority - Freeform, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Kinda??? Not really any comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Random &amp; Short, Short One Shot, Steven is going through it, Steven is in pain, This Is STUPID, WIP, What-If, no editing, this is just a wip</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:42:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24808900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollolovebot/pseuds/apollolovebot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn't how it was supposed to be. </p><p>Steven wasn't supposed to shatter Jasper.</p><p>Steven wasn't supposed to have so much hatred in his body.</p><p> </p><p>*THIS STORY IS A DRAFT THAT I NEVER COMPLETELY FINISHED AND I DON'T PLAN ON MAKING THIS A FULL STORY. THIS IS  NOT EDITED EITHER, IT'S JUST A WHAT-IF STEVEN DECIDED TO NOT LEAVE BEHIND JASPER AND KINDA WENT WITH THE WHOLE "I AM A DIAMOND" THING. I'M ALSO A BEGINNER WRITER AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING! READ AT YOUR CAUTION!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Hatred in his Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>THIS STORY IS A DRAFT THAT I NEVER COMPLETELY FINISHED AND I DON'T PLAN ON MAKING THIS A FULL STORY. THIS IS NOT EDITED EITHER, IT'S JUST A WHAT-IF STEVEN DECIDED TO NOT LEAVE BEHIND JASPER AND KINDA WENT WITH THE WHOLE "I AM A DIAMOND" THING.  I'M ALSO A BEGINNER WRITER AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!  READ AT YOUR CAUTION!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>This wasn't how it was supposed to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven wasn't supposed to shatter Jasper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven wasn't supposed to have so much</span>
  <em>
    <span> hatred </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet here he was, standing in his bathroom after reviving Jasper (who was now kneeling and saluting him) shaking and wishing that his entire day was a dream. Maybe if he didn't run away from his problems and family, everything would be fine. However, he did run away and because of that choice everything went wrong due to the fact he couldn't control the feelings he was having, and Jasper got shattered as a result of that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trembling, Steven took a deep breath welcoming the feeling of the cool air of the bathroom hit his skin as he reached down and placed a hand on Jasper's shoulder. When Steven's hand met Jasper's shoulder he felt her recoil in his touch, and he immediately pulled his hand off of her making his heart race once again. Taking a couple of steps back Steven looked down at her, his emotions going wild he finally opened his mouth and spoke shakily, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry, Jasper...I never meant to s-shatter you, I-I just lost..control of my emotions, t-that's all!" Steven's words got stuck in his throat, he was spiraling out of control and was on the verge of a panic attack. Sweat dripped down his face as he tapped his foot on cold tile-floor and snapped his fingers together to try and ground himself. The world around him disappeared as his heartbeat got faster and his ears rang. Nothing seemed to matter anymore as he lost vision and continued to spiral until a rough low voice broke his trance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My Diamond, why do you continue to act weak and care about me? You beat me just as a powerful Diamond leader would, yet you still act weak and care about me, a lower gem!" Jasper vocalized gazing into Steven's eyes waiting for his reaction/order or him to scream at her for speaking out of line.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven's body light up pink went Jasper's words sank in, he felt rage that Jasper keeps calling him, "My Diamond". He was not a Diamond. His mother was, not him! He is Steven Universe, he is his own person, he would never be a Diamond leader. Steven kept reciting those words in his head to stay sane and not lose control again. Deciding that trying to correcting her would lead nowhere, Steven sighed and turned his back on her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I care about you because you deserve better, and I know you can change. And...you have been the only person lately that I can trust with my </span>
  <em>
    <span>problems</span>
  </em>
  <span>...that's why," he uttered with despair lacing the last few words as he tried to calm himself down and think of a plan on how to move forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasper felt proud that her Diamond cared so much for her and thought so highly of her, yet she felt angry. Why did her Diamond not want to take his place among the higher authority and order her around? Her whole purpose was to fight and serve her Diamond. Jasper swore to herself and her Diamond that she would help him understand his role as a Diamond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Understood, my Diamond." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven sighed and gripped his shirt with despair filling him, he felt like his whole world was falling, which it was. Grasping the cool metal doorknob he started turning it as he addressed the gem,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Jasper, you can stop kneeling, you know?" he could hear her shuffling in the background when the door opened and he was met with his family standing in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Steven! Why did you run away?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Steven talk to us man!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We love you Steven and just want to help!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voices of the Crystal Gems merged as Steven tried to block out their words. He attempted to walk forward, however, the gems obstructed his path. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Jasper march past him and stood by the door giving him the diamond salute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My Diamond doesn't need to answer you, lower gems. Move out of the way." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jasper said as she shoved Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl out of the way making a path for Steven. If this had been a different situation Steven would have been enraged that someone disrespected his family like that but he could care less at that point. He walked past his family who shot him concerned looks and tried to reach out towards him before Jasper blocked them,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm leaving."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven said in a monotone voice as he opened the front door not even glancing back at his family who all shouted different things of concern at him. He continued to walk out the door and trudged up the stairs of his beach house towards the crystal-domed conservatory that held the warp-pad. Behind him, the Crystal Gems ran after him while Jasper walked with a smirk on her face. Once Steven got to the top and stepped on the warp-pad he saw his family's faces, they were filled with worry, confusion, and sadness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all finally became too much for him to look at so he snapped, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Can you all just leave me alone! You guys have done nothing but pester me and make me feel worse than I am! Stop treating me like there's something wrong with me, can't you act normal and reach out to me when I'm ready!" </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>the building began to shake as his voice raised in loudness and, his words dripped with anger and all emotions from the painful memories of his past. His family stood there in shock as his words sunk into them,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span> Had they made Steven feel worse instead of helping him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steven got on the warp-pad ready to warp away before he becked Jasper to come with him. She bowed and stepped up on the warp-pad beside him waiting for his confirmation to activate the pad. Steven took one last deep breath and said, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Goodbye. I'm going to the only people who can understand and help me out." Those words tore through the crystal gems, as they began crying. Then the warp-pad activated and half-gem human and gem teleported away leaving the crystal gems in their misery. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope y'all enjoyed this trash?? a reminder this was never edited or anything, plus i'm a beginner writer and have no idea what i'm doing. sorry,, please be nice in comments and not drag my ass lmao</p></blockquote></div></div>
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